When I was 8 I wanted to be an artist. At 5, my dream had been to be a clown, but I had dropped that idea by 8 maybe realising that it was a bit silly and crazy to want to be a clown. I had packed away the clown suit and the clowns on my wall. Maybe an adult had told me that being a clown was not sensible and didn’t bring in enough money. But an artist was still a possible job at 8. An artist to me was a painter – making artworks on paper.
As I grew up I realised I had a talent for typing. I was a speed typist with the word speed of about 65 words per minute. At age 15, I decided I wanted to be a secretary even though I was doing so well in the sciences and in English. I told my typing teacher that I wanted to be a secretary. I had dropped the idea of being an artist long ago. Maybe adults had told me that being an artist was not sensible and didn’t bring in enough money. So being a secretary was what I could do. However that typing teacher said to me, “No Belinda, you should be going to University and doing science.” I was good at that – in fact I was good at academia in general. That teacher made me think differently and I decided to go and do a degree in Biology when I left school. You see I was 2nd in Biology for my year and loved it a lot. Sometimes I wonder why I listened to that teacher.
Did that degree get me employment in science? Not really, as there were virtually no jobs in science in New Zealand at the time – but it led me to work in the University. I had done many jobs – none of them permanent or full-time apart from one office job in a car dealership. When I finally got my job at the University and saw “Secretary” on my job description, I laughed my head off. I had achieved what I wanted to do when I was 15 years old. I had that title for a year until they changed our titles to Administrator. I left the Uni for a while to have three children but found myself back there 8 years later working casually. While working there I got a pro camera, a gift from my husband. It was a Fujifilm X-T1 and it changed my life. I could suddenly take the photos I had always dreamed about and they were extremely artistic. I had done photography on a very small basis for many years, but this was the first time my photos matched what was in my head and often surpassed my ideas.
I had tried many other art forms over the years including painting, embroidery, sewing, you name it, but photography is the one thing that has stuck with me. I can finally say I have achieved the goal my 8 year old self wanted to achieve, being an artist! I had probably always been an artist at heart but not one earning money. Now I earn money from it. I’m now 42 and it has been a very odd journey to get to where I am. Not a straight line by any means – but a curving and bumpy road.
What would I tell my children? Try to be that Lego designer that you always wanted to be. Try to be that cafe-owning fashion designer. Be what you want – just don’t expect it to happen overnight and expect to have lots of jobs in-between to make ends meet.
